Wondering

All my 25 years I thought I was leaving a normal life and I blend in with the people around me. It takes one honest and sincere friend co-worker to tell me that I am not normal and I am one of the weird ones that I thought were normal to me. All the while I thought that people are just rude. It was a touching and awakening conversation that made me think.... am I really like that? I pity the people that surround me, and I'm grateful because all these years they have been there for me and understood my nature. I really thought I was a cast out but, well, no I was not I am different and I felt secure that I was left alone, "suffer in silence type" - Bella. I was hurt by my co-workers comment but ignored it during the conversation, I even tried to hide my reaction to the words, I really don't know If I hide it that well, you know my face is very expressive. It gave me two hours to think it through, at the end it didn't hurt so much but I felt happy because I was Unique, I did not fit in, therefor I am not oblige to pretend that I like them and I should go with them, I like it that way.

Now I know what is my husband trying to tell me about my mood, I am hard to keep up with, I have lots of friends but I do not spend time with them that much not unless I was invited. I kind of forced my husband to leave the way that I do, like the way my dad forced my mom to live like he do, I think I got this traits from my dad. But I thank my mom because it balance the whole thing and I do not act the way dad act "obsessive, compulsive". No offense I love him, he is a shoulder to cry on, even though he does not show any emotions.

Maybe this is the way creative persons think, I am creative well not developed because I was afraid to object with my father and now not even thinking about it because my life now belongs to my babbies. I really love them and I give my whole perfect self to them.

If I am going to die early I wish that they may leave a good life like just now. I am very much afraid to die, not because they will miss me or no body will take care of them but I feared that my husband and my parents will fight over them. All this problems I am suffering I block it with my unique ability, "I Create" thats my power, but my kryptonite always caught me I loose control and emotions flow and escape my chest like a wild alien predator.

Yes, I was the lucky one, be bale to block it all out but I have no big GB no storage left and so I burst into an explosive, thats my kryptonite.